cupcake transport module
Every once in a while you run into a single-purpose piece of technology that reminds you how multipurpose pieces of technology lack the power of self-explanation and the elegance of single-mindedness. For example, when you need to reshoe your horse Lightningbolt, you can probably get by with a 14-ounce claw hammer, a few nails, and an old screwdriver for cleanup. But isn't the job better done if you have the farrier's hammer, a custom pick and brush for cleaning, and square-cut horseshoe nails? And what would you think of a blacksmith who couldn't produce the special tools? Hack? Amateur? Wannabe?
This contraption (depicted herewith) is a farrier's hammer for birthday parties.
It is a two-deck, self-sealing, level-maintaining cupcake transporter. Each deck -- we'll call them the Lido Deck and the Engineering Deck -- handles a cool dozen cupcakes. Individual cupcakes are ensconced in properly deep divots, and there is enough room between divots and between decks for tidy frosting clearance. The transluscent roof grips the sides securely, providing an ant-tight barrier all the way around the edge. The Engineering Deck itself is non-stick coated, dishwasher-safe aluminum cupcake baking tray -- just detach the Lido Deck and the clear lid, whip up your favorite recipe, start thinking "butter cream", and bake away. For a family breakfast picnic, you could use muffin batter rather than cupcake batter. That's not really multipurpose, just flexibility in a single purpose.
There are some things that the cupcake transport module can't quite do. It can't handle 25 or more children without cupcake division or without forcing some of them to Go Without. For mini cupcakes, you need to choose a size that lets you make and store three mini-cupcakes per divot. You'll get some frosting overlap, but nothing like the usual gooey icing smear that rewards the usual party-chef who tries to move a half-gross of mini-cupcakes in an ordinary plastic tray covered with aluminum foil.
If you are proficient with knots, you could use the device to raise cupcakes to the treehouse, two dozen at a time.
(The contraption is sold under the Oneida brand. So you get one of those conversation-starters at every party. Want to talk about tribal politics? Towns in New York? Manufacturing? Sprinkles? You are all set.)
Posted by David Sloo
